I want to be like the NASA engineers, they built the Voyager and millions of years in the future that piece of metal will probably be retrieved by some sort of intelligent civilization. And they will listen to the Golden Record, and they will dance to Johnny B. Goode, and they will study it like we study the great Moai, but the makers of it will be forever forgotten. 

Maybe it's because I hate myself, but still have an ego that doesn't want to be completely forgotten after death, or maybe it's the opposite, and I'm such a narcissist I need a way to cope with the fact everybody will be forgotten anyway. I don't know, but the point stands: I want to be forgotten.

These last months have been weird, I feel like I finally realized I don't know who I truly am, for all of my life I was "sedated" and disconnected from my own mind. Trying to find who I really am is being painful, as I feel I'm always pretending to be something, I do hope the next months help me clear out my mind...

Keep going,

- A.